In our own time Friendship arises in the same way. The first two would be glad to find a third.
Friends find this solitude about them, this barrier between them and the herd, whether they want or not. Friends find this solitude about them, this barrier between them and the herd, whether they want or not.” And instantly they stand together in an immense solitude. It is when two such persons discover one another, when, whether with immense difficulties and semi-articulate rumblings or with what would seem to us amazing and elliptical speed, they share their vision-it is then that Friendship is born. But as long as each of these percipient persons dies without finding a kindred soul, nothing (I suspect) will come of it art or sport or spiritual religion will not be born. The typical expression of opening Friendship would be something like, ‘What? You too? I thought I was the only one.’ We can imagine that among those early hunters and warriors single individuals-one in a century? one in a thousand years?- saw what others did not saw that the deer was beautiful as well as edible, that hunting was fun as well as necessary, dreamed that his gods might be not only powerful but holy.
We do not disparage silver by distinguishing it from gold.įriendship arises out of mere Companionship when two or more of the companions discover that they have in common some insight or interest or even taste which the others do not share and which, till that moment, each believed to be his own unique treasure (or burden). By saying this I do not at all intend to disparage the merely Clubbable relation. But it is not Friendship in the sense I give to the word. It is often called Friendship, and many people when they speak of their friends’ mean only their companions. Lewis’ image of friendship was of two people standing shoulder to shoulder, facing a joint vision a love of mutual respect and true equality.Ĭompanionship is the matrix of Friendship.
Much like bell hooks’ idea of real love as something very active and equitable, C.S. Tolkien, bemoaned the state of friendships in his own time (the end of the 1950s) and observed how difficult it was for people to relate to others in a way the was not affectionate or erotic. Lewis, who had a famously intense friendship with fellow writer J.R. In this extract from his book of essays on love, The Four Loves, he looks into the nature of a true friendship and sees it as something that transcends mere companionship to reach a more elevated goal – that of a shared interest or a common question. Lewis, is the rarest form of the four manifestations of love, which also include affection, erotic love and charity.
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